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Orbital Drop Shock Troopers
: :Overly Dimwitted Suicidal Twats are a super elite group of the UNSC Marines whose job is to soften up a landing zone for the Master Chief to roll in with style. With their dead bodies. They wear black uniforms that look cool but are a really dumb idea for camoflage, especially since they were only ever deployed next to a lush, green river and in a desert. During the day. They speak in Australian accents to make themselves sound cooler. For weaponry, each ODST is equipped with a standard issue spy flower which when sprays : :water in people's faces. That or a gun. They do NOT get a laugh at parties, however. In general, Marines do not invite ODSTs to their parties. :They're always trying to outdo the Spartans and often try to downplay their success, chalking it up to luck, exaggerations or elves. Naturally, they are too spineless to tell Master Chief what they really think and always suck up to him when he's around. Still, MC beat up like 50 of these guys. To sum it up, they are Marines that were given fancy but useless suits to make themselves feel better. It's best to just stick them (with a plasma grenade), like a regular marine in a regular suit with a regular weapon. :They are marines who are selected for the following skills: dying; trash-talking more cometent and powerful enemies (and allies); recklessly charging superior forces, calling everyone "meat", and being extremely crazy. They are then sent in pods to distract the covenant until the noobish smart marines can get in safely. The intelligence of an ODST is equivalent to that of a very small rock or a single grain of sand or maybe even air. :Their aiming capabilities are that of a rotting banana. They also shoot at the chief and marines (without success) and have 15 wives on Earth (Mormons). The "Helljumpers" on the fourth Hula Hoop (or Anti-Son-Of-A-Bitch-Machine) were lead by Major Silva. Silva was an even crazier ODST who would make petty jabs at people he couldn't match mentally. He also had a very poor understanding of scale and basic math; During a raid on the crashed PoH he believed a few dozen (or maybe up to 200 or so) ODSTs could defeat the thousands of covenant in the area...and was right. he was killed when the lies and stuff asploded. a death with far more dignity than he deserved. :They also suck at driving, amazingly more than a marine. They drive like a 90 years old drunk geezer thats high on drugs and then eats a sleeping pill. They are good at ramming into the huge tanks that can blow the shit out of you, toilets, and off the cliff. The game halo 3 ODST was created to make them feel better. For some reason, even though you are an ODST, you are a badass fighter. All ODSTs own Harley-Davidson Choppers, Spartans own Pink little girl's bikes, and Marines own a Pedal car. The Master Chief However, lost the Keyes to his Harley-Davidson, because Cortana took them. Famous ODSTs The ODSTs (Orbital Drop Shock Troopers) are the Navy SEALs of the UNSC. * Gage who was killen by the rookie before he became an ODST. * Richard Marcinko the 200th, Helped Chuck Norris during the Battle of the Delta Hula-Hoop, on Ancient Aztec Ruins, fighting the Covenant as an elite force more Commonly known as Delta Halo Force. * T. Rookie, Was one of the most heroic ODSTs of all time, with his greatest accomplishment being able to Have Sex with a female operative while getting his ass whooped by a Famous Actor. * Dutch an insane man who has the balls to charge at a lot of brutes, grunts, 4 wraiths and a UFO Yelling "IMMA CHARGING MY LAZER." * Some guy who has the same voice as the Marine who dies in Halo one in the Level with AIDS and the Lightbulb, Was a man who was killed during the Battle of the AIDS swamp, but his clone, a Lincoln-six type Clone named Ewan, became an ODST who rock with Marcinko-200th. * Faison, a very famous ODST, died in action while defending Lieutenant Car-Keys and a Grey (Very Emo) Spartan, Was known for being So Bad-Ass and having the guts to Tattoo a "Bastard" Tattoo on to Jacob Keyes, who was a lieutenant. * Echo-Six Got pwned and raped by a female spartan during a training exercise. * This Guy was Rescued three times by a Female spartan, who then told him to "Take the Shot, Only you can do it!", obviously meaning that she wanted him to... But instead, He took her Sniper Rifle and shot the Prophet of haters, who was phsyically disabled later and put onto a chair with a laser gun. * John Mcdipsh** who was the only straight ODST in the UNSC. * John "pillow" Rikson was a jumper, except he landed the wrong way and provided a landing pad for Master Chief. * Dick Fuckedguy he landed his pod into a PAC cannon Training ODSTs go under Rigorous training, from being trained how to swim, to firing a rifle, with Rigorous SEAL training, like how to Drink a Pint mixed with Cobra Venom, how to Fuck with a Female Pilot, how to seduce yourself, how to throw a baseball and how to win a "Hold your breath" contest. Fighting ODSTs are much more tougher than the average Spartan, because they use guns instead of Spears. They also work out alot, which gets them all the chicks, while Spartans get their Muscles injected into them, turning them into people who can't take their helmet off, and they never get a date. ODSTs however, Die more often, because they are given a small vest instead of Big Hulking Iron Man Armor like the Spartans are. Most ODSTs though, become heroes, and have rivalries with the Spartans. Their main tactic is to fall down and wait for spartans to use them as a landing pad. What a Marine thinks of this Crap OH SURE, you make all the ODSTs and Spartans look like heroes Right!?!?!? RIGHT!?!?!?!?! To me, the ODSTs are the Seals of UNSC, but Spartans are the SKYNET of UNSC. But it's Us who are the Jedi! right?... awwww. He's right. we suck. :( Armed Response Seals ODSTs, are trained in Armed Response, and they are also the SWAT (Sulfuric Wanking Ass Twats) of the UNSC. Trained in armed Response, they were involved in the 2552 Hollywood Shootout. where they took down Bastards. A message from the Chief "Damn this kid, he vandalizes all the Spartan articles, but makes ODSTs seem like heroes, sure they get all the chicks, Remove their helmets more often, and all them Own Harley-Davidsons, but we Spartans are- HEY!!! ARE YOU QUOTING ME, YOU'RE TYPING EXACTLY WHAT I SAY! Stop It! I'm warning you, you Twat! I'll Take Fred, Kelly, and Linda with me and come after you ass! You're gonna learn a whole new meaning to the words "PAIN AND SUFFERING" IT WILL BE SLOW, It will be cruel, and I will enjoy every moment of it!" My Response: "It's good to have Goals in life." and chief in his most epic chiefynessz said : "then this shall be the last of thy goal!" "my"is currently missing if you find any evidence about him do these things: dont givashit burn the evidence laugh until you are almost dead if he is still alive then finish him off since if chief discovered that you leted him live he shall kill you... even though he will kill you anyway for stealing his kill the best solution is to play moar halo if you see him being tortured by chief just say: "oh nice day today is eh neighbor? anywai i shoud continue doing my things... which is not seeing what you are doing... and end eating this muffin ... which if you whant im totaly cool whit it..." and walk away slowly things N0T to do: a barrel roll a bearoll stupid puns whach the last episode of "lost" masterbate yell"HA HA!!"like that gaglefuck from china from simpsons eat a comdom tell a yo moma joke call for help call for the cops(tey whont givashit anyway and chief will rip your bollz off... the aye bollz and the manbollz) ask Cortana out care Category:Cannon Fodder